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She had stayed at her prayers past Matins and far into the night to keep herself from despair or her lord’s bed. Nay, they were one and the same. Prayer did not serve. Mother Genevieve allowed such asceticism not, calling it only self love in guise, and as ever she proved in the right. Lilac needed such guidance now, but could not face the abbess who had reared her as tenderly as any true mother. She felt confounded in a web of chaos and sin, one wrong besetting another upon her. Lust led to carnal actions, carnal actions showed she kept not to her duty as she had struggled to do since arriving, defying the order of the world yielded only despair, and pride kept her from penitence and its comfort. Just as well Lent would soon be upon the world, all her joy had vanished. She had thought herself lusting on Lord Reynard long, as it appeared now he did on her, and they seemed on the point of bedding each other and driving it from their minds anon when she realized her heart had. ’ I continued. ‘I know, but if he found out she’s fucking a nineteen year old student, it might piss him off just a bit.’ She said. ‘What can I do? This has been building up for a long time and she says she won’t put up with him too much longer. He sounds like a real piece of work, if you ask me.’ I felt like I was begging for forgiveness for being a bad kid. ‘Just be discreet. Don’t be seen with her out in public where someone might take it back to her husband.’ Janice interjected. ‘I know all about abusive husbands. Carlos would slap me for no reason and he even kicked me after he knocked me down a few times. I wanted to kill the bastard for that. When I divorced him he said he would strangle me for deserting him. I just could not take any more of his cruelty. Thank God Louise called me to come here. I feel safe and out of his reach here.’ ‘Of coarse you’re both right.’ I said. ‘The last thing I need, in the world, is a jealous drunken husband hunting my skinny ass. But I gotta tell.
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