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It also takes great courage to go as far as taking your own life. But I am at that point. No, I do not consider myself to be strong or courageous, I consider myself to be tired and worn down to nothing. I am not who I once was. I step closer to the ledge, thinking about my family one last time. Thinking of them how they were, before everything happened to tear us apart. Suddenly the roof door opens, and a man steps out. He doesn’t see me, but I can see him just fine. His face is like a vision from a dream, so familiar yet I can’t place him in my memory. As he turns to close the door I can see he has headphones in, he lights up a cigarette as he starts mumbling the words to the song. Slowly I can feel a memory surfacing, the one that I know him from. I can just make out the lyrics from a long forgotten song, the song then sparks a memory, the memory a face, the face a name. The song is Self-Conclusion by The Spill Canvas, the face, a boy from what I consider a past life, when really. And obviously it meant that Jill thought she should have been one of the people in that bed, doing what we were doing. What wasn't so obvious, to me anyway, was whether she was supposed to be taking Lynne's place ... or mine.Stop laughing. I told you men are a little dense. And these days the world is full of girls who like other girls. And there were little clues that Jill wasn't all that much into boys. That she got interested in dating so late was one. That she didn't seem to get all gooey over any of the guys she met was another. And there was just something wrong about the way she and Langston had looked at each other before prom. I mean I developed the beginnings of a nice healthy boner when I saw her all dressed up to the nines, looking as delicious as a chocolate éclair. He'd glanced at her and then looked at me and her mother. And Jill hadn't seemed all that excited about prom at all, for as much time and effort as she and Lynne put into getting her ready.There was just.
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