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“Just his boxers,” answered the roommate. Helen turned to Steve. “You were told this was a sleeping attire party. Hand them over.” Steve looked embarrassed as he removed his shirt and pants. Sure enough, he was wearing blue boxers with teddy bears. Helen dismissed him. I was starting to get a bit nervous. She called up Dave, the guy in his pajamas. Another video segment started. After the social niceties she asked Dave’s roommate what he slept in. “Damnedest thing I’ve ever seen, “replied the roommate. “He wears pajamas to bed. I haven’t seen that since junior high school.” Helen congratulated Dave on adhering to the dress code. Then it was my turn. Yet another video segment started. Helen was interviewing Jay in our room. He was dressed in his black speedo. Helen told him he’d look better without it, so he took it off. He completed the interview in the nude. A few of the girls cheered. After hearing what a good roommate I was, Helen asked Jay what I wore to bed. “He wears. Yeah...”Not going to happen.“Why...”If you ask why not one more time I swear I’m going to tear up all your spell books and hats when I’m back to normal.“Okay, okay,” she says, gesturing with her hands for calmness. “Don’t get you panties in a twist.”I don’t wear panties.“Neither do I,” the girl agrees.I know.They travel in silence, having really nothing to talk about save for Penelope wanting to know the reason for the cat’s sexual preference and Hazel not wanting to share. After a while it becomes apparent that they are lost, and Hazel is not afraid to say it.We’re lost. The village idiot has gotten us lost again.“You’re the one with the internal compass,” the witch fires back.We’re really going to go through this again too?“Fine, we’ll just pretend that you’re right.”I always am.“Did you not hear the word pretend?I’m pretending that I didn’t. It makes the rest of the sentence sound better.“Oh I just bet,” Penelope says ready to off on a rant. “If I...”“Excuse me miss,” a tiny voice.
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