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Each time I got more responsibilities, but was traveling at least two or three weeks a month toward the end.My family life was disintegrating. Phil did everything with the kids. He was both father and mother to them. I was just someone who seemed to occasionally visit for a day or two. I was surprised that the kids just didn't call me Vivian instead of Mother. "Mother" not Mom or Ma, but Mother.I never noticed at the time, but now looking back it seemed they never felt anything for me towards the end. I was just a stranger in the house whose name happened to be "Mother". Mother was my name, not my job as far as they were concerned. Phil had replaced me in their eyes as the go to parent.Phil was always there for them. He got them up in the morning, off to school, sat up with them when they were ill, helped with their homework, was there for their after hours school activities, plus read to and tucked them in at night. If I was home and they needed something, I'd offer to help, but the. She pushed me towards the door and said, “You need to go before people start talking.” “Let them talk. I don’t care. I am here.”I pulled her back to me and kissed her. There was a lock of her on her cheek and I moved it and kissed her cheek. She giggled and said, “Make up your mind.” I smiled and said I can’t. She just kissed me back.“Ok, you should definitely get going.” But I disobeyed myself and pulled her again. Our bodies tussled to be together. To be away from each other.“You should really make up your mind.” She bit my lips.With tremendous willpower, I let her go. Not because I cared what people thought; but because she wanted to.Before the end of the party, we sneaked a few more kissing. She threw me on the bed once and climbed onto me, not giving a damn about anything. I lifted her and carried her to the door and let her down, and gave her a final kiss.I knew she had a boyfriend. Or at least a love that she could never let go. Even tonight, even in my arms. It was a fragile.
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