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This shit is sofucked up." I nodded. For some reason Philip's extremely low-browapproach to the situation felt warranted and calming to me."Philip," I croaked as the high-pitch sounds left my throat. "Philip,how much do you know about the Oatmeal Switch?" I was guessing notmuch."It changes your sex, right? Eventually? Shit, I bet you can just get anew dick or something. Probably talk to a doctor or some shit."I shook my head. "It doesn't just change your sex, it changes yourpersonality. Almost everybody who carries it through to the third stagecompletely changes their sexual orientation. You have a pretty decentchance of that not happening, but... a much higher chance of the otherway around." I had studied the topic just last year, luckily."What the fuck ever, homie. I like to fuck bitches, you know. Shit."I stared at Philip and thought about what a dumbass he was. I decidednot to talk to him anymore and go back to just sitting quietly. I fullyexpected I'd be one of the majority. He had been tossing them and rolling them around for a few minutes now. He didn’t know which had been in Darlene’s fingers and which had been in Tamara’s but he knew the one that hadn’t been in either. “I guess eight. Uh, nine. There’s the one at the appraiser’s.”“Friends’ one?” Janice flicked the cast at the poor penmanship on his wrist. “She wanna do that before or after.”“After. She kinda followed me out of the store on a lunch break.” He sighed. “Eight? I think that’s about right.”“I’m counting three spent. There were twelve right?”“Yeah, remember, I may have tipped Liz--”Janice was red faced for how hard she was laughing. She pumped her fists into the air.“What?” Tamara snapped. Owen’s patience was also thinned out by then.“OK, so, figure out what you can do to Tamara and then we’re going to eat! I wanna see what you can pull off the VIP menu!” Janice tittered again. She elbowed Tamara and warned, “You’ll like Liz. Owen won’t abide cat-fighting in his harem.”“Why would that make.
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