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’ It hurt. It was degrading. There was nothing about it that I could enjoy. And you will do it to me again before I leave and it will hurt again and I will hate it. You are going to force yourself into my asshole one more time and I’m sitting here, dreading it more than anything. But that’s the point. I’m not supposed to enjoy the pain. Masochism is forcing yourself to endure something even though you don’t want to do it. The dread is wonderful. The anticipation of the inevitable pain is lovely. You could say that I’m enjoying my feeling of dread if you like. And there’s the aftermath. I will revel in knowing that I survived the pain and fear and triumphed. I will thrill at feeling my body heal and become strong again. You could say that I enjoy that, too, but, really, joy is simply the wrong word. Excitement, anticipation, triumph, and satisfaction are the positive emotions that a masochist strives for. It isn’t about enjoying pain at all.?One sentence stood out from all the others. But I decided to go for my own reasons and because I was now so bold in my appearance that I wanted a proper opportunity to show off. I found an elegant black velvet evening gown, slit to the thigh and a pearl choker. I wore a strapless bra and matching briefs with my penis tucked right up my backside and held there with a piece of medical tape in case of emergencies. I wore dangling tear-drop pearl ear-rings, scarlet red lipstick and nail varnish. It was a warm evening so there was no need for stocking or tights."You look ravishing!" exclaimed Gerald when I met him at the top of the stairs in his white dinner jacket. A car arrived and took us to the party, about 10 miles away. Gerald was going to introduce me as an old colleague, not as his partner, which I thought was an acceptable solution to my presence. The party was lavish and the champagne flowed. After 2 hours of mingling it seemed that Gerald had forgotten all about leaving. I hadn't drunk much but I was getting tipsy as my.
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