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It was an unfamiliar feeling for her, being caressed by the gently moving air, especially on her breasts and the now freed hair at the junction of body and thigh. For a few moments as he stood there, she was lost in the new sensations, feeling both trapped and yet freedom beyond any she had ever experienced. She watched as he looked at her looking at him, and felt strangely at peace. He began to move. Slowly and deliberately she watched him open his shirt, then pulling his arms out of the sleeves gracefully. With the same deliberate smooth slowness, she watched him take off his shoes and socks. His hands moved to his waist, unbuckled his belt, and snapped the waistband open. She heard the snap, then the sound of the zipper being pulled, and watched as the jeans opened, dropped, and were put with the rest of his clothes. Her eyes were drawn to his body; never before had she seen a man naked before. The flatness of his belly, with the rising fleshy organ where she had none, the. .. and to try to forget about you.”“But no matter how many hours I spent in the gym, how many hours I spent running, and how many hours in the weight room, no matter how completely exhausted I was, every time I closed my eyes at night, all I could see was you ... all I could see was Jake.“And I finally had to admit Aunt June was right. God help me, Aunt June was right. I was in love with Big Jake Lewis.”“I even thought about killing myself, Jake. That was how bad I felt.”Carrie said that when she came home that first year for fall break, she had planned on talking to me and admitting her feelings for me, and see how I felt about her, and about what June had said.But then Bo told her that as soon as I heard she was coming back into town and wanted to talk to me, I suddenly left for an unexpected vacation.“That told me how you felt,” Carrie said. “And it made me feel even worse about myself.“I told myself that you thought I must be that sick, depraved monster I sometimes felt I had to.
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