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I watched her retreating ass. She started outside, stopped, turned, and waved to me. From the short distance, I could hear her giggle. Then, the door closed behind her.Finally, I took my cat inside and went to job number one.I hate waiting tables with a passion that Republicans save for Bill Clinton. Naturally, this is what I do to keep kitty chow in the cat bowls. Fortunately for my little monsters, I did receive a section in the dining room rather then being sent home. It was a slow day at the Country Club, the golf course closed for maintenance, but I still had a total of three tables for most of lunch. They were large, mostly businessmen, talking about work between the sordid lies of golf games past. They tipped well.The cats would eat well tonight.At two, the manager walked over to me. This is a bad thing at two o'clock in the afternoon of a slow day and with the kitchen about to shut down. I knew what was up before he said a word."Kenny, we got another table. A deuce. You're. ’ The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’ The Irishman said, ‘Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.’ The priest said, ‘Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.’ The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that ... You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’ The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’Lemon Squeeze There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’ The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’ The young woman said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made passionate love to me seven times.’ The priest.
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