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" I dressed and we gathered our possessions for the trip back to the cabin.The trip back was quiet and quick. Both of us realized that traveling with Lisle had been a chore. The two of us traveled together like a well-synchronized machine. We knew what the other would do. We knew what needed to be done. Most importantly, we knew how to do it all quietly and without leaving a trace. We returned half a day quicker. We unloaded our provisions and went to the falls to wash our bodies and play. We did both and walked back to the cabin holding hands and carrying our towels and clothes. Nudity at the cabin became our norm. Our sex lives became more joyous and more spontaneous. It was a warm winter. Even on the coldest days, we wore little. The cabin was warm and snug.It was almost spring before our provisions were running low. I told Ula that another trip was needed and asked her which town she would like to see again."Alaric, I would like to go to Atalan. It fits what we enjoy. I want you. The one I chose is 2 miles around the lake. As I walk, I start tothink about everything from last night. How Luke was so harsh and how hedid what he wanted. I suddenly had a huge feeling of shame. I had nevernever had sex with a guy or a girl, but I had feelings and thoughts aboutguys. Last night confirmed that I was gay. Last night also meant that myolder brother knew I was gay. Who was he going to tell and would he treatme different now? My dad is a pastor and if he told dad I was gay, I wouldcertainly be sent off to some straight camp to try to fix me.My emotions were taking control of me. People were passing me on thetrial. All ages, male and female. Most of the ones that passed made eyecontact and said good morning. Others had earbuds in and ran by me like Iwasn't there. I reached for my cell and texted my other brother John. Johnis 19. I texted and asked what he was upon to. He replied back and saidthat he had just finished breakfast. He asked what I needed. I said I wasat the.
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