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I’m just trying to figure out the feelings that I’ve never dealt with before. Even if you were monogamous I’d be dealing with the newness of some of them.“Maybe if you had also been a virgin it would be easier but then the sex wouldn’t be so awesome. So I guess I can’t win.”She moved over on the bench and put her arm around my shoulders, “THAT is not true. You are already a winner. I wish more guys could talk about their feelings like you just did. Many are playing games or else really don’t know themselves very well. And now that we have opened up more, have another glass of wine and listen to the rest of what I want to tell you.“I want to get pretty factual here so you have a clear picture of me. You’ve mentioned that you weren’t comfortable me talking about other guys, but I have to at some point. No names or gory details. Are you ready now?”I shifted in my chair, swallowed a big slug of wine, and said simply, “Yes.”She smiled a little and launched into her talk, “Counting you,. Even in the 70s some train carriages were well beyond their sell by date, and there were still quite a few old fashioned carriages in Southern Railway's run down and grubby service. These have now long since vanished, but then you had a door on each side of the compartment that allowed access in from either platform (depending which way the train was pointing) and two banquette bench seats either side of the doors that stretched from one side window to the other and could seat about eight passengers on each. It was possible to travel the whole journey sitting in your own little compartment all by yourself. On other occasions you could be in this type of carriage with numerous other passengers who you were stuck with until either you got off or they did. The design meant there was no corridor which would have allowed you to walk along the train and escape. You're literally 'trapped' in your compartment until you could get off...and with no toilet access of course, you had to plan.
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