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When I bought the tickets, I had also picked up a souvenir 'Parcel of Rogues' tee shirt for my sister Jen, to send to her as a surprise present, to remind her that I loved her and was thinking of her.I really hoped that she wasn't too homesick in her first week at Reading, but I knew from my own experience the previous year just how frantically busy, yet incredibly lonely, the initial few days at University could be. I remembered how good it had been to get a letter from home, telling me by its very arrival that I wasn't forgotten.I wondered if Jen would manage to meet a nice lad that week, as all the Freshers trooped around Reading together to explore their new surroundings. I wasn't sure that she would recognise any romantic approach; we were both fairly shy and retiring (neither of us was ever going to be the life and soul of the party, as Mum put it), and although we could, and would, be pleasant enough if people tried to strike up a conversation, neither of us went out of our way. Just lick it sweetie, you know in your heart that you ache to really. What? Where does it say that? Look, doesn't that say 'lick'? What is he, a fucking doctor? It's not my fault it's fucking illegible. Well, I'll be buggered if I'm re-writing it and I'll bet a pound of sugar and a handful of rye he isn't giving her enough oral attention so it's not like the advice is going to go to waste. Fucking arsewipe saddos with their stupid 'I can't manage my own paltry life' questions in childlike crayon scrawl. What do they expect? And what is his problem with Bewitched? I hope he doesn't have a problem with Samantha because she's my all-time favourite TV witch. All that unassuming conservative exterior hiding a naughty, mischievous inner-child. And such a cutie. People have commented that she looks a bit like me you know and as for that nose twitch, wiggle thingy twitches nose if that's not a panty soaking come on then I don't know what is. Beep de beepity beepOh, hold on a moment that's my.
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