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I may not be able to get pregnant, Luke, but this is something that we can craft together. You and me. Out of our love.”“How is this love?”“Did you feel hate or anger while you were striking me?”“Of course not.”“Did you feel indifference?”“No.”“Then tell me what you did feel.”“I...”“Did you feel dominant? Like you held my entire wellbeing in your hands?”“Yes, much of the time.”“Good. That’s what you should feel, because you did. Did you ever stop loving me while you felt that way?”“Absolutely not, but...”“So you did this while loving me. Just as importantly, I loved you every single moment it was happening. This morning, when I woke up and looked at myself, I loved more you intensely than I ever have, because we loved and trusted each other enough to do the incredibly difficult work to create all of this. This was done out of love, Luke. It couldn’t be any other way between us. Only one time in my life have I submitted to someone for whom I didn’t feel any love at all, and that was. .. Josh had been real worried about making this trip at all in his old pickup, which had an odometer reading well over 200,000 miles.But, they'd cut it close. What with everything, after two years of work, including a thousand dollars in race winnings, the trip home was being financed out of Josh's credit card, and he hoped to limit the motel stays."It's the biggest argument toward just cutting back to local level teams," Josh agreed. "I haven't had the time to work out the exact numbers, but it costs us about thirty thousand dollars a year to just pay the direct expenses of the dogs, training them without even racing them, what with food, gear, and whatnot. That doesn't even figure in the cost of the land, the taxes, and so on. And, we should spend more; we cut come corners, compared to other people, and we really don't have enough dogs." They'd had to borrow six of the dogs in the trailer behind them from other Spearfish Lake mushers, just to fill out their teams, but at least.
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