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Clouds which open up shortly after we park, the rain coming down heavy and the sound of thunder beginning in the distance. We sit beside each other in the back of your van, and we kiss in the darkness. You said you weren’t a smoker, but I taste the faintest hint of something on your breath, something that makes me wonder if you really do smoke. Or maybe it is just a mint you had earlier, or perhaps your brand of toothpaste. Or maybe the remnants of your coffee. We kiss in the darkness and the damp heavy air begins to make us sweat. You kiss me with ferocity and with aggression, your tongue forcing its way into my mouth to entangle itself with my tongue. Our hands lead our arms around each other as we kiss, as we tongue each other, as we suck each other and draw lips into our mouths, sucking hard on each other. The darkness is broken by a flash of lightning. The rain is a torrent beating on the roof of your van, an unsteady and unceasing drum-beat drowning out all other sounds, save. Unfortunately regular masturbation for two days worsened my state, it enhanced my restlessness and went sleepless in the nights, my body was demanding sex and I was helpless and gradually I started surrendering myself. My thinking was changing and I started convincing myself that life I am leading is not a married life, me and Ujwal was living together just for our child and we don’t love each other. I have a right to keep myself happy and satisfied, it could be wrong in eyes of society but it is not wrong in my personal perspective.Mentally I was preparing myself to get into a sexual affair without feeling regret of cheating my husband and in the mean time another weekend banged.It was a Friday afternoon when Ujwal messaged me that he will not come back home in the night and I realized that it is a last week of the month. I knew when he will come back; on Sunday afternoon, he had bunch of friends who use to get together once in a month for couple of nights; to drink and play cards.
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