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They get older.Boy asks out other girls. Sometimes they say yes, sometimes no. Mostly he's more relieved when they say no.Girl dates another boy, discovers he's a giant douchebag.Boy wonders if his future is going to be a life of watching late-night porn with only cold pizza and a box of tissues for company.Girl wonders if she might be better off asking out other girls.Then it happens. God, Cupid, the noodly appendage of the Great Invisible Flying Spaghetti Monster, or even just plain chance intervenes and pushes them together long enough for them to realize the truth: They're high-school sweethearts--two souls destined to come together and be joined for all eternity. It's fated in the stars.Boy kisses Girl. Girl kisses Boy.They live happily ever after.Credits roll.The end.Only it never is...Eight years later... "I wish she was dead," Court McCann muttered morosely into his beer."Come on, you don't really mean that," Jimmy Morrison, his best bud, said."Yes I do," McCann grumbled. "I. We all found each other on orientation day of freshman year and had been partners in crime ever since.“Should we get started on our chem homework?” Jasmine asked. We looked back and forth at each other. No one wanted to. Without speaking, we all agreed that homework would wait.“Wanna play truth or dare or something?” Courtney asked. “So you have an excuse to feel my boobs again?” I asked, a playful jab at the last time we did it.“Not my fault you have nice boobs. I genuinely thought you had them done,” Courtney said.“An E cup isn’t even an outrageous size,” I said. Both of them looked down at their own, much more modest chests.“A perky one on a waist like yours is. You’ve got a pornstar body and don’t seem to realize it,” Jasmine said. “Yeah, I would kill for your rack,” Courtney added.“You would die with my rack. Do you have any idea how much my back hurts every day?”“You don’t even use them to their full potential!” Courtney said.“Full potential? What do you mean full potential?” I.
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