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Do you understand, youngman?" Yes, MOTHER."Stephanie smiled the sweetest smile she could manage. "Thank you, SON.Now let's get to work."And over the next two hours, the new Stephanie learned the technique forputting on a bra, how to apply makeup, the difference between skinnyjeans, boot cut jeans and flare jeans, how to insert a tampon and lotsmore. When they were finished with the lesson, Stephanie told her 'son'to get dinner started."Me? Why me?" Because you're the one who always cooks, son. I want to take a nice,relaxing bubble bath while you get dinner ready." She smiled at her sonand winked.When Thursday morning arrived, Stephanie was glad she had taken therelaxing bath and gone to bed early. Of course her son was stillasleep--but those habits would soon change. She left him a note beforeheading out the door: "Don't go looking for cigarettes--I have disposedof them all. We can't afford them, and they're bad for your health. Iexpect you to have cleaned the apartment and prepared. I thought I might take a little trip to Aspen, or Miami, or anywhere away from the people I love.”“If you love us, then let us help you.” she said, pulling out the big guns. “The girls would never forgive you if you just take off.”I decided to stay with Sophia and the girls for a couple of days. I bet that surprised you!Once we were locked up tight in her apartment, two armed guards outside the door and a look-out in the lower lobby, I slumped down on to the couch. “Anyone up for pizza? Or subs? Or anything, really. I haven’t eaten since that half a Danish this morning and I am starved!”Sophia gave me a look. A ‘You got shot and you haven’t eaten? What the hell is wrong with you?’ look if I ever saw one. She bustled into the kitchen and was back in a flash with a roast beef on rye and a glass of orange juice.“If only you were barefoot and pregnant, you would be the perfect wife.” I said, though she didn’t find it quite as funny as I did.Once the girls saw me situated and comfortable.
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