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Now, it was just right. Sunday she had to go to her parent's house so I went to a sports bar nearby to watch more football. All day my mind kept drifting back to her as I wondered how her day was and if she missed me as much as I missed her. After that weekend, we fell into a pattern of getting together one or two nights a week, and then most weekends we would spend at her place or mine. Then one Saturday night we were at my place when she asked me if I wanted to go to a movie and after I said I didn't feel like it I noticed she was crying. "I see, I'm good enough to fuck or hang out with but I'm too embarrassing to be seen in public with." This had come out of the blue and I think I was too stunned to speak. She got up and ran out still crying but I didn't try to stop her. I hadn't consciously made that decision but as I thought on what she said, I realized it was true. I felt bad for my shallowness so I went down to her place to apologize but she wouldn't let me in. Back home, I. If he would only yell at me I would feel more like I deserved another chance."Study. Thursday? My place?" I asked."I've got something Thursday. What about the weekend?"I had not been turned down; I had been postponed. I was not used to being postponed. People changed their schedules to accommodate me. This was new territory. Practically everything about Jeff was new territory.Friday and Saturday nights were prime dating and party nights at school. As much as I wanted to experience him, I had to maintain my standing in my social circle."What about Sunday night?" It's a date."As Sunday approached, I had a sense of anticipation which I tried hard to suppress. This was just another date, and not a top quality date at that. But the knot in my insides didn't agree.It couldn't just be that he might have something to teach me sexually.He didn't fawn over me. He had refused to kiss me, just walked away like I was rancid fish.He thought of me as intelligent, which was correct though I'm not.
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