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But Donald is a state representative in Sacramento. He was a lawyer and a judge. There are rumors he’s a candidate for a Congressional Senate seat when one comes available. He’s a good Irish Democrat, and a good friend of Mother.’ ‘Wow, your mother knows someone in power, then,’ I observed. ‘That’s not all she knows,’ Yolanda giggled. ‘Mother has a couple of powerful men friends that she visits now and then.’ ‘Oh? Oh!’ ‘Don’t look so shocked, Aaron. She’s still alive and kicking. She’s only fifty-seven.’ ‘Of course … I didn’t mean to suggest she wasn’t entitled to her own life. I just hope they treat her well.’ ‘Oh, they treat her very well, from what I’ve heard,’ she giggled. ‘They can’t afford not to.’ ‘What’s that mean?’ ‘Just that they are important men and don’t need bad publicity. Mother represents the ideal escort. Mature, sexy in a more adult way, and very knowledgeable. She can hold a conversation with anyone.’ ‘I don’t doubt it for a second. I’m just surprised at her secret. In fact, several times during the year, he has specifically mentioned that you would be very pleased with just how naughty I've gotten. He's grown quite fond of such phrases as "hump it like a reindeer" and "bounce up and down on Santa's candy cane, little girl". I worry that you would consider this taking your name in vain.The first thing I'd like to ask for this year is batteries. Lots and lots of batteries. I seem to go through them very quickly. Perhaps you might have your research and development team look into a vibrator that doesn't drain the batteries quite so quickly. Or maybe make one that will plug in. It's very frustrating to have a battery die on you right before you're done with it. I've also found that people at the store don't appreciate when you bring the vibrator with you in order to get the correct size battery. I know you understand though, don't you, Santa? There is nothing worse than getting home with the wrong size battery.Speaking of being frustrated, the next.
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