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”I told him, “Chetan, yeh meri maa hai. Aur yeh sab mere dost hai. Hum sab ne meri maa or mujh ko choda hai or hum dono pe muta hai. Hamari cabin kafi gandi ho chuki hain. Tum hamare madad kar sakte ho? Hum tumhe kafi paise denge.”(Chetan, this is my mother. And these are my friends. All of us have fucked my mom and me and have pissed on both of us. Our cabin has become quite dirty. Can you help us? We will pay you well.)I could see Chetan’s eyes widen as I was talking. I could see the bulge in his pants rising.Then, Chetan said, “Haan Saab, koi problem nahin hai. Kya main is madam ki mamme dekh sakta hoon? Main kabhi koi ladki ke saath kabhi kareeb nahin tha to ye meri pahili baar hoyegi.” (Yes, sir, no problem. Can I see this lady’s breasts? I have never been close to any girl before, so this will be my first time.)I said, “Meri maa to nanga baithi hai dekh lena agar chhoona chahte ho, to chhooh lena.” (My mother is sitting naked. Go ahead and look. If you feel like touching, go. Better news? Blackheart had a suit of armor now, and a laser rifle, which meant he’d be able to help. Best news of all? We had managed to stomp a few more masses of zombies and they were no longer quite so gross. For one thing, we had lased them from a distance, and nothing makes zombies easier to clean up than flash-boiling their blood with high powered laser rifles. It causes their brains to explode, but there’s almost no splatter! Win win! Plus, it gave my splinted up wrist time to heal a bit.“Pff, more like Litch Lame!” I said, cheerfully as we checked another doorway.“Brash, you jammy bastard,” Blackheart muttered. “That’s even worse than Lich Loser. And Lich Not a Nice Guy. And Lich Totally Not Good At Being Scary And I wasn’t Really Scared I was Just Faking.”I scoffed. “LTNGABSAIWRSIJF is a great burn!” I put my hand on my chest. “It just rolls right off the tongue!”Blackheart rolled his eyes. “My question is where is the vampire bint.”“Hey!” I said, scowling at him. “That.
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