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. ‘Brief Pause.‘Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.Put the phone down on the table, run upstairsAnd knock on the bedroom door and shout to MommyThat Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.’‘Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.’A few minutes laterThe little girl comes back to the phone.‘I did it, Daddy.’‘And what happened, honey?’‘Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bedwith no clothes on and ran around screaming.Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresserAnd now she isn’t moving at all!’‘Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?’‘He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too...He was all scared and he jumped out of the back windowAnd into the swimming pool.But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the waterLast week to clean it.He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead.’Long PauseLonger PauseEven Longer PauseThen Daddy says,‘Swimming pool?...Is this 486-5731?’No, I think you have the wrong number...This one is compliments of GaryClaim of. They turned around at the top of the stairs, saw me looking at them and giggled. With a mischievous grin on their faces, they gave me a quick flash and raced off into my sister's room. I stared in their direction for a few minutes, turned round and put on the television. The rain had not slowed down, and it was too cold and wet to go outside. Not that it really mattered. I was enjoying watching television in front of a nice, toasty fire. Hours passed. I drifted in and out of sleep in front of the fire. After a while, I dozily woke up out of a snooze and my eyes drifted upstairs. My sister and her friends were standing there looking down. I dreamily noticed that they were wearing only a shirt each. They saw me staring at their hairless vaginas and steeped back out of site. I drifted back into a doze. When I opened my eyes again, they had resumed their position on the balcony. This time they were wearing only a skirt. The next time I drifted out of sleep, they were.
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