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No point in mincing words.“There was a… a truck and it was sk**ding…”“Yup,” I said.“I… I died?”“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”“More or less,” I said.“Are you god?” You asked.“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”“My k**s… my wife,” you said.“What about them?”“Will they be all right?”“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your k**s will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart.. "Darlene laughed. "Everyone wants to know about our May-December relationship. I picked Dennis because he's low maintenance, easy to be with, and treats me with respect. He's a fantastic lover and knows how to make a woman happy. His tongue is very talented."Sheila looked over at me and raised a questioning eyebrow. I just smiled back and shrugged as the “talented tongue” comment seemed to hang in the air forever.She let the silence stretch out a bit, and then leaned across the coffee table, took Darlene's right hand in her own, and asked, "Tell me, dear sister, is his penis as talented as his tongue?"I shifted in my seat and struggled to keep a neutral expression as the two women discussed my sexual performance. I couldn't imagine a more awkward conversation.Darlene looked surprised at Sheila's question, and then looked thoughtful. She told Sheila after several moments of reflection, "His penis is untrained, and it doesn't work nearly as well as his tongue. Sometimes my lover can't.
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