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He was laid out in the coffin for friends and neighbours to pay their last respects.“He’s got a great tan,” Mrs Doolan from next door mused. “The holiday did him the world of good.”“And he looks so calm and serene,” said Mrs McGuiness.“That’s because he died in his sleep.” explained Mrs Murphy, “and he doesn’t know he’s dead yet, but when he wakes up, the shock will kill him!”“Your glass is empty O’Flaherty, will you be having another?”“And why would I be wanting two empty glasses?” replied O’Flaherty.Murphy arrived home late from the pub, well oiled and ready for trouble.“Is that you Murphy?” called his wife.“Byjasis! It damned well better be!”Two tough union men were working on a building site when Murphy fell from the second floor scaffolding.“Are ya dead?” cried Gallagher from above.“To be sure I am,” replied Murphy.“You are such a liar Murphy that I don’t know whether to believe you or not!” called Gallagher.“That proves I’m dead,” said Murphy’s voice from the rubble below,. Get the clamp on them." One of the deputiesapproached her breasts, two one-inch boards, over 18 inches long, joined by longscrews with wingnuts. He pushed her breasts between the two boards, the screwsopen over three inches. He pushed them far down and than began to tighten thewingnuts. Her breasts began to push between the ever shrinking boards, pushingher breasts out, the blood pushing into her nipples. "No more, they are becoming too tight," but the deputy continued to tightenthem, compressing her breasts between the boards. Her breasts were flatteningout, the pain beginning to get worse. "Oh, God, that hurts," her breasts beingcrushed by the deputy. He flicked her nipples, inciting a sharp pain as theblood surged to the tips of her tits. "Look how red and flat they are becoming," the boards now open two inchesand still closing more. The deputy began to kiss her again, forcing her totongue fuck him as he continued to compress her breasts, exciting him as hergroans of.
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