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I woke up sometime later to the sound of Andy and Alice having sex. Instead of being sad, I felt a bit of anger. Everything seemed to have gone wrong for me this week.( Not giving up )My dreams were filled with sex. I was in the district manager’s office again, bent over his desk while he fucked me. This dream repeated in different variations all night, though, they were more like nightmares. When I finally woke in the morning, I was wet. The familiar tingle of arousal was also present. I ignored it, not wanting to masturbate or orgasm from anything stemming from that sex nightmare. At the same time, I knew that I didn’t want to let this continue any longer.I ate breakfast, showered, did my makeup, and dressed as womanly as possible. Looking in the mirror, I worked on a business face, practicing it, so that I could look as professional and serious as possible. As I made my way to the office, I thought about what I wanted to say. I intended to get my thoughts out so they wouldn’t be. What's changed, all of it, is inyour head. Period, that's it. I can't fight that, and I can't turn thatclock back." So you don't even try, you just go somewhere else?" Basically, yes. I don't want to change the world, Karen, I'm not sure Iwould even if I thought I could. I just want to live my life. Is thatsuch a bad thing?" And what happens when someone finds out there?" Oh please, this was a complete fluke and you know it. God, peoplecommit murder and then disappear forever, never to be found even withevery cop on the planet looking for them. You think I can't findsomeplace where I can just be me?" Still, it could happen again." I'll deal with it if it does." I don't want you to go, Serina." I don't want to go, Karen," she said softly, tears in her eyes, "but Ihave to. The life I seek isn't here anymore and that's more important tome than anything." More important than our friendship?"She nodded. "I'm sorry, but yes."+++We didn't talk about it much after that, there didn't seem any.
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