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Fortunately, the one that is into me is tall, tanned and has the body of a gymnast. How did I get here? Well, I am not completely sure. You know those parties that are held by a guy who knows a friend of a friend? Well I am at one of those, drinking beer in the backyard with my mates. I have caught up with some old friends and I am getting pretty wasted as I enjoy the band playing fairly competent cover songs.I turn to my right and this brunette chick says “Hi.”I say “Hi”, back and we introduce ourselves. Her name is Samantha. Actually, her real name is Karen but she prefers Samantha, fine Samantha it is. We chat for a while and her short blonde friend joins in occasionally, looking more than a little bored. I learn that she is 23 years old, five years older than me and a nurse. At one point she tells me that I look like her cousin and her friend agrees. When she says that she went to a Catholic girl’s school, I trot out a few of my remarkably witty observations about the Catholic. So I now have the numbers for his 5 closest friends, his real name and address.So I do a little test. We have his phone call I let him make his confessions and clear his soul of any wrong doing. Getting charges dropped for female friends who he is sleeping with and sleeping with minor c***dren for starters. He promises a million dollars to keep quiet and not reveal his dirty little secret. I know that no one is going to pay a million dollars for a phone call so I tell him that to test the waters his first phone call will be $500 and then every few weeks I will call him back and increase the amount. I make him pledge to me that he is now my slave and his wallet is now mine to spend. For this phone call he will pay $500 and gave him an hour to pay. Well an hour goes buy and no gift card. But he has called several times promising to pay $1000. By know I know that he really isn’t a judge and that his story is all fake so he could get his jollies off. Once again I tell him my.
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