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I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me!When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation...My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance of idiots that needs working on.If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.The kids text me “plz” which is shorter than please. I text back “no” which is shorter than “yes.”I’m going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I’ll do the second week.Even duct tape can’t fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.This item is compliments of an Anonymous donor:A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.Three women, an American, a Kiwi and a Australian Woman, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.The American woman. I don't suppose that ever goes away. We helped each other, I think." And you?" Marty asked."Me? I'm learning to live again. Esther hasn't shown up since..." I looked at Beth, "we were at the Rocks, but I still think about her a lot. It's not so raw now. Life goes on. You know, it's sort of... healing ... just reading bed-time stories to kids? They're so caring, but so... now ... they don't worry much about the past or the future. If they think I'm upset, they just come and give me a hug and, you know, it really does help."At the end of the evening, as he stood to leave, Beth stood too. "I'd best be on my way, too," she said.Outside, she turned to him. "I'll not hold you to it if you'd rather not crew for me."He was surprised. "Why would you think that? I'd love to do it. I'm only worried I'll not be good enough. I'll be there on Saturday, for sure." Good! And don't worry about your skill level ... what I saw of you before I'm sure you'll do fine."James went on his way, with Beth once.
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