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‘I don’t think it should be awkward at all. I teach you history and you teach me music. Sounds like a fair trade to me.’ I don’t know what made me say yes. I’d like to think I was self-aware enough to see that I needed more interaction with other people, but I think in the end I just didn’t have the courage to say no, especially to a teacher. My will wasn’t strong enough. We made plans for Joel’s first lesson to be in two days. As I lay down that night to go to sleep, I considered the task and a weight fell over me as I realized it could not go well. After all, I couldn’t even read music anymore: how could I ever hope to be able to instruct someone when I couldn’t even follow along? Besides, I knew I was awkward, quiet at best, around everyone and especially around teachers. But no matter how convinced I was that this would end badly, my pride wouldn’t let me give the task anything less than my complete effort. With that in mind, I spent the rest of the night planning my teaching. I looked at Agnes and grinned. “Eric, we can’t move in until we’re married.” I purposively put a pained look on my face. “Eric, we can wait. Please.”“I’m just kidding you, dear lady. We’ll wait. I do enjoy sleeping next to you. I think making love to you will be even better. We do have time. I think we should move our things into the apartment when we leave for the break. That way, we won’t have to struggle to get moved later. On a different subject, where do you want to go for our honeymoon?”We talked with my parents by phone that evening. They were guardedly in favor. They liked Agnes but thought it a bit fast. I could tell my mother wanted to ask if we “had” to get married. I decided to cut that off early. I said, “Mom, we don’t ‘have’ to get married. We ‘want’ to get married. We love each other and both sets of parents have given us good examples of the happiness of married life. We know there will be struggles but we want to struggle together.”That seemed to clear the air. My.
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