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"Humans are so namby-pamby. The way my mom always said it was 'you can't drink tea with your dick in your hand, ' which makes a hell of a lot more sense than what he said." Humans have dicks?" the nose-picker asked."Dunno," the third one shrugged as he dropped his axe. "Ask the Biffer Bimbo elf. I heard there isn't a house in the magic lands where she hasn't dropped someone's pants. More than one told me she even does the clam dip serenade." Well, if it was a dwarf, she probably got her entire head sucked up that cavern," nose-picker said and they both roared with laughter."Would you two stop yammering," Bernie said as he pushed them aside and dropped his axe. "He's trying to be polite. You two can't cook worth shit and I want my cup of tea."Bernie turned back to Pardin, "You got any fresh fettock in the house for my tea?" he said, staring at the fresh cut branches of the herb hanging on the wall. "I've been a little bit constipated these past few days. Probably eating too much shit. I’d been rock hard since we both shut our doors and the soft hint of her perfume spread through the interior of the car. ‘Hey, why are we stopping?’ ‘ATM. If you’re having sex with me for money, I need money, right?’ ‘Mom’s computer ledger said you already paid your four-fifty. I figured that was just for one time, but if I’m charging what she does, you’re set for the month.’ ‘Then I’m paying for next month. If I’m going to show you what it’s like to pimp yourself out, you need to know how it feels to take the cash.’ ‘I guess so. Holy shit.’ The conversation paused while I keyed in my PIN and made the withdrawal. ‘Wait … next month? Does that mean you’re really going to come back and keep all your appointments, while I’m …’ ‘Jesus, Kaylee, do you want to know what it’s like to have a client or not?’ ‘Fuck. Holy crap.’ We pulled into their driveway around eight o’clock, still light outside with the evening sun of early summer. I switched off the engine. ‘Okay. Here’s the.
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