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This was territory we had never talked about before because sex was so embarrassing for me and sexuality was a taboo topic in our house when we were growing up. She said that overcoming shyness requires confidence and confidence requires experience. The problem is that experience is scary because sex starts out painful and because it requires a man and that's the reason for the shyness in the first place. I was in a vicious cycle of not gaining the experience I needed to develop confidence because I was afraid of the experience I needed to build confidence.This is when she made the most astounding offer I could have imagined. "It's just sex," she said. "You just do it the first time and don't expect it to be very good and that way you won't be disappointed and you'll gain some experience. And as for overcoming the shyness, you could have sex with Charles right now and he would never even know it was you. He would think it was me or think it was a dream and forget all about before. Mike turned it off and we managed to pull it out of the ditch. Other than the handlebars, it looked okay. We were even able to bend them back into place. Realizing we were both safe and that I had not wrecked his brother's snowmobile,was a relief. So much of a relief that I started to laugh and could not stop. Just one of those laughs that go on and on.Mike stood watching me, shaking his head. "Funny is it? You could have killed us ,you know, and all you can do is laugh?"I tried replying, which was hard since I was still laughing and tears streamed from my eyes. “Hey,” I eventually answered, “if you hadn't been playing with my nipple and trying to get me horny, none of this would have happened." Get you horny? You can't tell me you weren't already turned on by driving so fucking fast? You can't, can you?"I couldn't deny it. Even after wiping out in a ditch I was still aching and dripping. Maybe it was the added adrenaline, but I’d never wanted to be fucked so badly than I did at that.
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