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I was always tired and I guess I complained a lot.No guessing about it. I was becoming every bit as much a bitch as my daughter.It was late at night—for us. Probably ten o’clock. In the summer, the kids stayed up until nightfall and we collapsed soon after. Hayden had to be at work by seven. I was nearly asleep when he spoke, nudging me awake.“Marilyn, we need to talk.”“Not now, Hayden, I’m too tired. I promise we can have sex tomorrow night.” I guess that had become a pretty standard response to his overtures over the past year. The truth was that I was ashamed of my body. I wasn’t exactly fat, but two babies had left my stomach soft and puffed out. My breasts were still okay because I never breastfed a baby, but they were beginning to soften and sag as well. I was too tired to shave my legs and armpits regularly. My hair hadn’t been professionally done in a year. I couldn’t see how Hayden could possibly find me desirable. It was easier to push him away.“I had an affair, Marilyn.”I. "I can be difficult. I'll admit that. But it's mostly when someone presses me into a place where I have to be difficult. The other part of that comes from Terry. Sometime last summer, he decided I should get out of the business. I'm enjoying what I do. I wasn't interested in leaving. So he started to make things a pain in the ass for anyone who tried to hire me. He insisted on a dressing room – a dressing room! I was going to be naked and getting humped in a few minutes but he wanted me to have a dressing room. I didn't know about it. I should have, but I trusted him." So what about your alleged feud with Rita Looker?" Sarah wondered.Leslie tilted her head in the manner Adam had come to expect."Also partly contrived but not entirely," she admitted. "I jumped Rita's claim. She planned for almost a year to be the first of the non-nude girls to make the transition. I turned 18 a couple of months before she did and made my debut almost six weeks before she did her topless shoot. That did.
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