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I wanted him to contact Lorrie to set up a delivery schedule for the choppers. The conversation naturally turned to the events of today and its potential conflicts.I only had one response to that. “Let the chips fall where they may; life goes on,” I said.What should have been a quiet supper was not. Moms, Dads, Jake, Mindy and a host of friends came to see the little one. We were proud as peacocks; Ching Lee was on cloud nine beaming so it was not a bother. Amazingly he slept through most of it, except when he was hungry. Like most men he had no trouble making the latch. Ching Lee had decided she was going to breast feed as long as Takeo wanted.At 2000 the guard at the driveway called in, “I have a couple here who claim to be Lorrie’s parents,” he said.Jonathan and Leslie Smithfield were a strange pair; the only time they had been to the house was when they came to check up on Lorrie after her ordeal to commit her to a mental hospital. We girls had quickly put an end to that. The term vicious cycle has been used to describe self-harm. I completely agree. It’s exactly the right term to use. You feel bad, you cut. You feel bad about cutting, you start to feel worse. And you cut again. And it keeps on going, and going, and going... It’s very hard to explain and incredibly difficult for people to comprehend but hurting yourself is very addictive. I have no idea why but that’s the only word that I can find to at least try to explain. People often mistake is as a suicide attempt but that’s just because the most common place to cut is arms. It’s not about dying, it really isn’t. It can be a cry for help but for most it’s to help cope with emotional pain. It’s a completely stupid way to cope; I’ll be the first to admit that. But I will also admit that it worked unfortunately. Like any other addiction, soon your normal ‘fix’ isn’t enough. You have to cut more or sometimes find something else to hurt yourself with to feel the same effects. It’s.
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