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The real good news is that I'm back at the gym, either the local YMCA or Planet Fitness depending on available time and my location. I have met or played with a few gym guys in the past but it’s been dull lately. It seems most older men don't go anywhere due to Covid so it’s mostly young guys looking at me or acting like douchebags. Plus, the trainers have misguided large opinions of themselves. I see the same people at the times I go but nobody talks to me. Of course, I'm wearing a mask — but, come on, my ass still looks awesome in yoga pants!One Tuesday, I’d spent most of the day working at home and I got tired of being inside. I told my guy I was going to the gym — and I was ignored when I left. Nothing unusual there.I didn't take a change of clothes as the showers are closed because of Covid. My plan was to workout for a couple of hours and shower at home. I was on the elliptical when a gentleman I've seen around spoke my name and told me I had a phone call.I was confused, how. Let’s just say your generation didn’t discover bisexuality and move on. Are you deliberately scuttling your chances at a genuine relationship with Amanda?”Of course not. Was I? Sylvia was here to help her ... ease her into it. Mother was right about one thing, though: my usual pattern was to get involved with someone, train them to please me and sort them out, and then gently push them away as they became uninteresting. The fact was, I had never aimed for the long term with anyone yet. With Amanda, it was different. I wanted her with me always.“I was counting on Sylvia to help Amanda feel safe.”“You’re lying to yourself. You could tie Amanda up on an altar with occult symbols and conduct a sacrificial ritual on her, on the mere strength of ‘Fiona says, Fiona wants’. You make her feel safe just by being there. You were counting on Sylvia to make Amanda feel ordinary. One girl amongst many. Nothing special. Another item on the list. That’s what you want her to be, someone you can.
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