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Creation-ism 2: Shit has only been happening since October 23rd 4004 B.C.Creation-ism 3: ... And the Lord said “Let there be shit” ... and there came piles of shit.Creation-ism 4: After six days of this shit, He rested.Constipation: My shit just won’t happen.Cubism: If shit happens, you won’t recognize it.Cynicism: But of course shit happens.Darwinism 1: This shit was once food!Darwinism 2: Survival of the shittiest.Darwinism 3: We evolved from shit.Deism 1: Shit happens everywhereDeism 2: God does not make shit happen.Democrat-ism 1: Shit should be provided by the government to all people equally? and for free.Democrat-ism 2: How can we send a man to the moon and still have all this shit?Democracy-ism: Everyone has the same opportunity to make shit happen.Denialism: What shit?Depressionism: Why can’t shit happen to me too!Descartes: I shit, therefore I am.Despotism: Let only one shit happen.Determinism: Obviously, that shit was bound to happen to you.Dianetics: (see Scientology. Like Doctor Barton and Doctor Bauer; like Jamie Ferguson; like Karl Schumacher. Not to mention people like Alderman Bloom, Mr. King the union president, and Gerald Brown. Seriously, tell Jorge to talk to me and not miss out because he let his ego get in the way.”“And if anyone knows about ego, it’s your brother!” Bethany said with a laugh.“Where’s your soon-to-be-husband, Bethany?” I asked. “I know he and Karl couldn’t make it today.”“They’re at some big meeting at JAG headquarters. They were personally requested by Rear Admiral Campbell, the Navy JAG.”“Interesting. Any idea what it’s about?” I asked.“No. Both Nick and Karl said that they weren’t allowed to tell us. Ginny asked as well.”“I’m sorry I’m going to miss your wedding,” Leila said. “Sounds like it’s going to be fun!”“Me, too!” Alejandra said. “I wanted to stay in Chicago for the summer, but my mom wouldn’t let me. When I get into medical school, there aren’t really any long enough breaks to let me go home to Argentina, so.
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