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“Does that taste sweet to you?” says Paddy. “No, not at all” says the chemist. “Oh that’s a relief” says Paddy. “The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar”.“Your honour” a defence attorney began “I have a series of witnesses that can testify that Mr. Johnson was nowhere near the part of the crime when it occurred”. The judge looked at the defence table and said “This is the third time you’ve been in this court room this week, and I’m getting sick of hearing your lies”. The offender stood up with a confused expression and said “Your honour, you must be mistaken. I’ve never been here in my life”. Waving his finger, the judge replied “I was referring to your lawyer”.You can tell a lot about a person by their car. For example: if it’s in a ditch, it’s a woman’s.Gary and Mary go on their honeymoon. The first night Gary spends six hours eating Mary’s pussy. The next afternoon, they go to an Italian restaurant. Suddenly, Gary starts to freak out. He screams “Waiter!. Just look at all the burnt out shopping centers and the glass strewn streets. If I had a choice, I'd get the hell out of this place." So, Tom?" David asked, hoping to get everyone focused on something other than the depressing cityscape. "Did you manage to get any of those ham radios hooked up to run off the car batteries yet?" While David and Mattie had been visiting Jeff and Jessica's zoo, Tom had checked the bulletin board at James Madison University, and used the notice of a meeting of the ham radio club to find a stash of ham radios on campus. He'd been trying to work out a way to get them to work on the SUV's DC power supply."Not bloody likely," Tom complained bitterly."Don't mind him," Greg said. "He's been upset because his little convertible fell apart so quickly, when we all knew it wasn't built to handle the current road conditions. But after he fiddled with the ham radios, trying to approach it from a technical basis, I simply spliced a few wires on my smartphone.
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