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How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelinblindfolded? A. You don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention.Q. What’s the difference between a lawn mower and a bagpipe? A. You can tune the lawn mower.Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust fordirections: an in-tune bagpipe player, an out-of-tunebagpipe player, or Santa Claus? A. The out-of-tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate youhave been hallucinating.Q. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe? A. Add vibrato.Q. What’s the definition of a gentleman? A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn’t.Q. What’s the difference between a dead snake in the road anddead bagpiper in the road? A. Skid marks in front of the snake.Q. What’s the difference between a dead bagpiper in the roadand a dead country singer in the road? A. The country singer may have been on the way to a recordingsession.Q. What’s the range of a bagpipe? A. Twenty yards if you have a good arm.Q. Why are bagpipers. The smile on her face making me feel so un-easy.'I think he is a common thief, he's come here to rob us Darling.' her mother responded and then continued after a short pause, 'I think that we had better call the police so that they can arrest him.'I tried to move, but unable to started to plead with them for mercy, 'Please please don't call the police, I'll go down for at least 10 years if they get me, please, please don't report me, I'll do anything, anything you want.'The girl giggled and whispered something to her mother. I tried to hear but was not able to. The contents of their whispered conversation were to be revealed to me later.Emily turned back to face me and then said, 'You will do anything?' I nodded, sweat appearing on my brow as I agreed that I would do anything to avoid going to prison.'Once you have agreed to the sentence we give you there is no going back, it will not be as bad as prison, but will mean that you will attend an institution for the next six years.'I.
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