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'If I could just catch my breath... damnit!' I took another deep breath and started fumbling with the belt on my robe. This was it. The belt had loosened. My heart was still pounding in my ears. I started to open the robe and felt it slip from my right shoulder. As it slipped from the left, gravity pulled it down to where it caught on my elbows. As if a machine, I let my arms straighten and fall back. The robe fell. Suddenly I was very cold. I was seeing my toes. As my eyes began to focus I could see my belly... my breasts... my nipples... they were rock hard. I started to turn. I wanted to run. This was a mistake. I was now facing Mr. Tsing... and the class. I was naked. Everyone was seeing me. There was nowhere to hide.I walked awkwardly toward Mr Tsing, trying to see only him. He looked at my eyes with seeming empathy. 'Ok, ' he said 'turn a bit to your right. that's it. Turn your head to the left a bit... ' as he gently pushed my cheek with his hand. I kept my eyes looking at him. I noted her left foot and the way it turned inward, clumsy and graceful at the same time. Amy corrected her stance a moment later, but I'd seen it. Imperfection is the truth of beauty, the unguarded moments when we're vulnerable and honest. It's what I tried to capture in my art because it's unpredictable and surprising, the way life should be. It's why I painted people and not bowls of fruit."Are you ready?" I asked, and Amy nodded. "Good. Let's see how Kurt's doing."I needed to do more paintings and quickly. I'd done shows previously, but never by myself. There'd always been one or two more artists to share the pressure, but this would be a one-woman show. Me. And I needed a lot more than the fifty-some paintings I'd already delivered to Preston.He'd handle the details for me. Each canvas needed to be framed. The watercolors would have to be matted. There were limited edition prints to be made and I could look forward to losing a few days just signing and numbering them. I had an.
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